Sock dreams tights and socks, Gee WaWa boots
1. So you know when you go to a kid’s birthday party and you try to make awkward conversation with the other parents and fail? Just fail SO HARD? Oh, just me? Right. So, to make a long story complicated: I was talking to the mother of the little boy whose birthday party we were all attending. She mentioned that her father lived on our street, and I said: “Oh, where? It’s a pretty short street.” Turns out he’s our next door neighbor? Weird! We stood there nodding appropriately. This is where the conversation should’ve ended.
“You look like him!” I said.
Andy was shaking his head beside me. “No, it’s her father-in-LAW.” he said and my stomach made a pit stop at my feet. To make matters more awesome, the actual offspring of our neighbor (his son, her husband) decided to check in to the conversation at that moment.
“Oh. Gosh.” I laughed nervously. I had to save myself. “Um, you do look like him though. So I guess you could say you and your husband look like siblings. You know…”Aaaand exit stage left. To Andy’s credit, he just smiled at me sweetly as if to say, “Oh my dear sweet wife, at it AGAIN!”
Yes, when in doubt JOKE ABOUT INCEST. NAILED IT.
2. We went grocery shopping later. As I’m checking out at Trader Joe’s the cashier decides to try and make polite conversation with me. Doesn’t she know that’s a bad idea?!
“So, um…what are you weekend plans?” she asked.
“Well, today I went to a birthday party for a two year old. Awkward.”
“Oh, why was it awkward?”
“Well, you know. Having to make polite conversation with people. I’m not good at it.” Oh, and have I mentioned that I love self fulfilling prophecy?!
“Oh,” she stammered. “Really?”
“Yeah, I have this problem? It involves my foot and my mouth.”
But not really. We continued talking since she hadn’t finished scanning my frozen fruit. And then I tried to walk NOT RUN back to the car.
“You’re the only person I should talk to ever,” I told Andy as I slid into the passenger’s seat.
He smiled, already knowing where this conversation was headed. “What’d you do?”
I told him and he laughed and said, “Oh my dear sweet wife, at it AGAIN!” No, he didn’t. But he gets me. I love him.
3. And I love this show:
4. I’m trying my luck at selling some shoes on Ebay. Check it out if you wear 7.5!