Monthly Archives: June 2010

Plaid pantry

Fossil dress, AA Shirt and skirt, Pink Studio Sandals

This is the way I walk down stairs

What's that down there? Oh, my self respect! Been looking for that.

I’ve been wanting to post pictures of my outfits lately since I recently bought a Joby and have been experimenting with it nonstop. I’m not very good at the whole modeling-without-looking-like-a-major-dorkwad yet, but I’ve got high hopes for the future!

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Seven things was all she wrote

So my sister bestowed this lovely honor on me. Thank you, my sweet! I guess I’m supposed to tell seven things about me and then award this to fifteen bloggers I enjoy? The seven things? Sure. But as far as coming up with 15 other bloggers, erm. I’m a bit of a lurker, so that…will be difficult. So I’ll mention 7 random things about myself. Cool? Cool.

1. I have very narrow feet. I also wear size 7.5, which always seems to be the size that sells out first! Annoying.

2. I like to re-watch my favorite scenes of movies, usually in private. Probably because a good amount of the scenes involve kissing/passionate looks/pining and I don’t want Andy to laugh at me! I also do this with books that I love (re-read scenes obsessively).

3. For several years now I’ve  have these weird images that pop into my mind of swimming in a pool with a HUMONGOUS whale sleeping at the bottom. It CREEPS ME THE FUCK OUT. Yeah, I like to scare myself. Have I mentioned this before?

4. I used to be obsessed with The Backstreet Boys in HS/college. This embarrasses me to no end. I’m not a music snob, by any means, (well, I wouldn’t say it out loud or anything) but their music is really horrible. Really.

5. I am searching for the perfect princess coat. Something that looks like this: and doesn’t cost an arm and a leg.

6. I’m kind of fixated on people’s teeth. The most important thing for me is that they’re well taken care of, crooked teeth aren’t really an issue. I just don’t understand how people can walk around with multicolored or cheesy teeth and expect you to engage in conversation with them. THE WORST has got to be when someone is sporting that ring of tartar just above his/her bright red gums? DISGUSTING.

7. That being said, I pretty much always think that I have smelly breath no matter how much I brush or floss.

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Poop-Poop

Andy and I took the boys to Powell’s a couple of weeks ago to trade in some books and to get them a couple of new ones. Of alllll of the books in alllll of the kids’ section to choose from Zephyr decided on a worn Thomas Gets Tricked. But hey, it was two bucks so we went for it. He’s been attached to it ever since, so the joke is truly on us. “Read Thomas Gets Tricked!” he asks so sweetly that we can’t help but swallow the mounting vomit in our throats and comply. Because after reading these “clever” little stories to my kids all I have to say is HOW IS THIS FOR CHILDREN AGAIN? Yiiikes. Yikes.

In one story, Thomas and Gordon battle it out to see who the hardest working engine is. Thomas teases Gordon a bit too much so Gordon plots revenge, and he ends up pulling Thomas behind his train as fast as he can possibly go. “Poor Thomas was going faster than he had ever gone before. He was out of breath and his wheels hurt him, but he had to go on. “I shall never be the same again,” he thought sadly. ‘My wheels will be quite worn out.'” So he puffs off home depressed, imagining everyone laughing at him and Gordon tells him, “Now you know what hard work means don’t you?”

????!!!!!

You know how it goes kiddos, Mom was being way too cheeky so Dad gave her a split lip.

GREAT LESSON FOR KIDS.

Or how about the one where Henry is pretty much buried alive because he doesn’t want to leave a tunnel for fear of spoiling his lovely green paint? Oh, sure, they try to get him out by pushing and pulling at him (Sir Topham Hatt has the best lines: “My doctor has forbidden me to push.” BRITISH PEOPLE WTF?) but in the end, they decide to erect a brick wall in front of him. What is this, OZ? And then Gordon rides by and poop-poops at him. Scatological humor FTW.

Eventually Henry is set free and realizes that the best way to keep his paint nice is to “ask his driver to rub him down” every day. Okay, I never used to have so many “that’s what she said!” moments before I married Andy, but COME ON!!!! Come. On.

Basically all of the stories are about teaching lessons through shame and embarrassment. It would be horrible if it weren’t so damn bizarre and therefore, hilarious! But this shit is not for kids. It’s for adults? Nah, that just sounds…weird. I mean, I get why kids love this crap so much, but Z would be obsessed with trains whether or not they had creepy anthropomorphic faces. He looooooooooves Dinosaur Train , which is GENIUS because it combines the two things that kids love the most: trains and dinosaurs, even though I sometimes think that adding time travel is going a bit too far.

*wanders off*

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Billygoaty

The other day Andy told me (as I modeled my new shirt from Trovata) that I looked like a train engineer, and I said, “Awesome!” because I would LOVE to look like a train engineer. With a bit of 50s housewife mixed in. Topped off with a prep school student. And a military…person. And a big truck? GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER.

+ + + + +

= good times all around.

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