Monthly Archives: October 2006

Clive Barker

Note to self: Do not watch ANYTHING this man creates. EVER. It will make you want to vomit every time.


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People are strange…and stupid.

I had an interesting conversation today with a man that I work with. We started out talking about Halloween, I told him that I never trick or treated because my parents believed Halloween to be demonic and thus came to the conclusion that if their kids “celebrated” it (i.e. dressed up like cats or witches or whatever) we’d end up forsaking Christ. Or eating candy with razorblades in it. Sow we’re on the subject of pagan holidays, which somehow led to us talking about Oedipus, which led to us talking about Greek Mythology, which led to us talking about The Odyssey. Whew. And this is all within like 5 minutes. We were all over the place. Kind of what happens when people don’t want to work, I guess.

We talked about how we loved the book and then he asked me if I’d ever seen the TV movie. I immediately flashed back to a moment in college where my female professor was pointing out the distinct difference of the Penelope in the book (strong, wise woman who waits tirelessly for her husband) from the Penelope in the movie (wilty flower who faints upon seeing her husband for the first time in years) and I ask “Why did they have to go and change her? What a cop out!” Manly-man says wilty flower-like women are what sells. Yes, his wisdom runs deep. Then he goes on to tell me how a man would get paid more doing what I do, simply because he’s a man.

“But that’s just the way the world is, you just have to deal with it. I know it sucks, but sometimes you have to push that stuff to the back of your mind, cuz it won’t change.”

I stare at him. “You wouldn’t say that if you were a woman.”

He nods. “Yeah, you’re right, but it’s the bitter truth. There’s nothing you can do to change it. I mean, and it’s not just women. Everyone has to deal with something…hispanics, blacks…”

“And me being black and a woman means I have to deal with things doubly so. I’m not going to sit and be treated a certain way and sweep it under the rug just because that’s the way things are. I’m going to say something about it.”

Then he…amazingly…says, “Well, things were a LOT worse in the fifties.”

And I get so pissed that I say (or something along the lines of), “I could care jack about how it was worse.” Which did NOT come out the way I wanted it to. Of course I respect and admire everything that was done in the civil rights movement but just because things are better now does not mean that you stop trying. I don’t have the: “Oh, it was worse then, I should stop complaining!” way of looking at things. Nope. Things still need to change.

I mean, seriously…people can still be cruel and racist, they’ve just learned to hide it better. Covert racism is still racism.

So, yeah… he just stood there and looked stupid.Sweet Moses, this guy has some massive cojones to say that shit to me. I love how this man is telling me to get over something because it’s never going to change as he continues to have a life of entitlement based on his color and sex. LOVE. IT.

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Dear Prudence,

Why am I writing you about what I should do after finding kiddie porn on my boyfriend’s computer instead of contacting the authorities? Or at least, say, talking to a family member first? Nah, you’re the gal to go to. I’ve got the extra time to wait for a reply while I sleep next to a man who might be a pedophile.

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Gael, Gael, the angels did say…

Dot the I is a film within a film within a film starring Gael Garcia Bernal, Natalia Verbeke, and James D’Arcy. The plot seems simple at first: a woman torn between two men. Ah, the bizarre love triangle, whatever is a girl to do? One man is the obsequious gentle lover that she is set to marry. The other is a man who inspires passion – Gael, duh. The story gently weaves its way to the inevitable: girl must make a choice, she’s got to. You can’t have two fat slices of cake and eat them both, that just seems plain gluttonous. Okay, easy enough.

Once you think you know who’s playing who, though, the tables turn. And watching these tables turning might seem like good fun at first, because who doesn’t like a bit of the mind fuck now and again… but in the tedious end it was simply exhausting. It seems like the film never ends, you think it’s over and suddenly there’s a hidden twist to be revealed. Everyone’s got a Plan B. Everyone’s got a hidden agenda. Nothing and no one are what they seem to be.

And you can’t concentrate on the intricacies of the plot for the blatant manner in which the film seems to be patting itself on the back. Look at me, I’m so avant-garde! I can imagine the filmmaker laughing as he imagines the viewers thinking they were headed down one path until they reached YET ANOTHER fork in the road. The Usual Suspects it is not.

Quick note: Gael, darling, you’ve got a spot on English accent. And you’re gorgeous. But I’m sorry, no amount of quotes from Swimming with Sharks (awesome movie that it is!)is going to make this film watchable. And D’Arcy did manage to impress in a couple of scenes, he’s got a mix of elegance and slimy bravado that works for him.

And now: Movies I want to see…

The Last King of Scotland, The Illusionist, The Prestige, Babel, Half Nelson, Sweet Land, Haven…that’s all I can think of so far.

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