Monthly Archives: September 2005

The Onion…making me pee my pants since 2000

So I think I need to say before I post this that what happened in New Orleans is a horrible tragedy, no laughing matter whatsoever. Hundreds of people dead, others stranded without food or water, their homes demolished…everyone’s suffering right? Doing what they can to survive? Apparently when blacks do what they can to survive, they’re criminals!!

This article…is why the Onion rocks and will forever be treasured. Of course it’s fake. But it still rings true….if that makes any sense.

White Foragers Report Threat Of Black Looters
NEW ORLEANS—Throughout the Gulf Coast, Caucasian suburbanites attempting to gather food and drink in the shattered wreckage of shopping districts have reported seeing AfricanAmericans “looting snacks and beer from damaged businesses.” “I was in the abandoned Wal-Mart gathering an air mattress so I could float out the potato chips, beef jerky, and Budweiser I’d managed to find,” said white survivor Lars Wrightson, who had carefully selected foodstuffs whose salt and alcohol content provide protection against contamination. “Then I look up, and I see a whole family of [African-Americans] going straight for the booze. Hell, you could see they had already looted a fortune in diapers.” Radio stations still in operation are advising store owners and white people in the affected areas to locate firearms in sporting-goods stores in order to protect themselves against marauding blacks looting gun shops.

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