Monthly Archives: August 2007

What I want, what I got

I want things.

Like this green jacket. And this orange jacket.

This shirt(either color):

and this skirt:

Here’s what I recently purchased…

This Serenity-inspired shirt: , a Serenity-inspired onesie for my Zephyr , these Venture bros shirts for Andy and I (the Monarch one is mine), and this killer polo shirt .

I’ve been in t-shirt mode lately, as you can see.

Good times.

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Plans and other junk

2 weeks until I go back to work. 2 WEEKS. How did 10 weeks go by so quickly? 10 weeks were an eternity when I was pregnant. Now? Gone in a flash. I really resent that. I’d like time to drag now, thanks.

We found a child care center to put Z in, and we’ve both decided to do a 4 day work week so that he only spends three days there. I think that it’ll help us freak out less AND save us a good chunk of cash too. (Ha. Did I just say we’d be saving? Will that be possible?) Andy’ll be able to visit him at lunch if he wants; it’ll be a bit more difficult for me since I work in North Portland, but I’ll definitely try. I’ve started freezing some of my milk but I need to really start pumping my ass off to get ready for the weeks ahead. And I mean pumping my ass off in the literal sense too since all this milk distribution will keep burning off those pesky calories. Not that I’d want to lose my ass. The remaining extra flab on my stomach would be nice though.

I’ve been so tired and cranky lately. Lately meaning the last couple of months. I feel so ashamed of the way that I sometimes bark at Andy, especially since he’s been so great, but then I do it all over again! My finger’s stuck on the damn repeat button. Must. break. cycle. I guess acknowledging that you have a problem is the first step right? I just feel so drained sometimes, and I know that it’ll get worse when I go back to work. I just feel sometimes that I’m doing everything wrong; breastfeeding and pumping have been really taxing for me. I have gotten the hang of sleeping AND breastfeeding at the same time, though. MAN, does that make me feel like a champ. A popular reaction to Andy and I deciding to do co-sleeping (mostly our co-workers), has been something like “Oh I couldn’t do that, I really need my sleep.” or how they’d be too afraid that the baby was getting too attached to the parent to fall asleep on his or her own down the line (the thing about co-sleeping that worried me most was crushing my kid, not losing out on sleep…and THAT was also fueled by other people’s opinions/comments, come to think of it). I hope the attachment thing won’t be a problem, but how exactly does putting the baby in a crib or in another room guarantee you sleep?? I’d have to wake up, stand up and walk somewhere else, pick up the baby, feed the baby, put down the baby, walk BACK over to my bed…and fall right back to sleep. Nah. Not me. If I’m awake and active, it takes me a while to get back to sleep…and THAT? Is not fun. Whereas now, I can simply roll over and attach Z to my breast and pass back out. It doesn’t work like a charm all of the time, but I feel like sleep deprevation + carrying baby to and fro = multiple injuries to child and mother. Yup. Seems crystal clear to me. I realize that this is the only way that I can get the little bit of sleep I’m getting, so for now, the kid stays with us. Once he starts sleeping through the night, we’ll transfer him to a crib.

No matter how frustrating breastfeeding can be, I feel like breast milk is the best thing I can give Z, and I will work hard at giving it to him even if it’s uncomfortable for me (and my poor nipples). It’s annoying that when I complain about these things sometimes people just assume that I should go straight to formula feeding. I’m not really a “boob nazi” or anything; my nephews were fed formula and it worked out great. I just prefer breast milk.

Hey. Meet Astro Boy.

Z is starting to really enjoy mobiles. He looks up at them and smiles and talks to them animatedly. I mean he REALLY gets a kick out of looking at them…btw Zain is in his swing right now and carrying on a full conversation with the little animals. It’s nice, I can sit him in his swing and take a breather when I need to.

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He speaks!

…not actual words, of course. But his little cooes and garbled noises are close enough. He’s a chatterbox whenever he’s awake although he took a break for a day and a half after he got his shots. After that heartbreaking affair he mostly screamed, cried and slept. Oh and ate. He’s always eating. We found out at his 2 month check-up that he is now 11 pounds! It’s so crazy how much he’s changed in such a short time. 2 months gone already, and less than a month to go before I head back to work. I’m sure I’ll be sobbing my heart out for the first couple of weeks.

He still looks a lot like my mom and Bethany, but sometimes I can see bits of Andy and myself in him. He’s got my mouth and my nose. The shape of Andy’s face. My hands. Andy’s feet. It’s so great how he laughs when I lightly stroke his cheeks and neck, and how he likes to stand on Andy’s legs and “Guh!” at him. He’s starting to have a real personality, I love it.

And here’s a (weird) quickie: I had a really disturbing dream last night where a guy used my breast pump to suck his brains out. Talk about nasty. Oh, and funny.

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Looking for a hole to sink into

I did something the other day that most people are deathly afraid of doing. I asked a woman who wasn’t pregnant when she was due.

In my defense, she had been pregnant a couple of weeks prior to me asking; it’s just she had already spit the kid out. Minor details, really (I kid). As she explained this to me, I probably died a thousand times. I’m glad I had something to focus on (carrying Z’s car seat to the car) or I probably would’ve nervously hiccuped/sputtered/stammered myself into a fit.

It was pretty painful.

In other news, Andy and I went and saw Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (ah…Rupert Grint) on Sunday. I really enjoyed it; it was quite a bit darker than the other HP films (and who does gloom and doom better than Helena Bonham Carter?). Harry’s moody, having nightmares, pushing away his friends. Kissing girls for longer than a minute. Tugs at the heartstrings, it does. I loved the inklings of a crush between Ron and Hermione, I’m going to admit right now that I look forward to the next installment for mostly that reason. Man, those kids are growing like weeds, especially the kid that plays Neville. They’re also getting richer. $14 mil to play Harry Potter? I suppose I can justify that more than Macaulay Culkin getting millions to slap his pasty hands on his cheeks and yell (poorly).

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2 prizes with every bag!

Andy and I got more than halfway through a bag of Gardettos today when I noticed this: . That’s right, not one but TWO gum wrappers. TWO GUM WRAPPERS IN MY BAG OF TASTY SNACKS. I feel ill. And I have to wait ’til Monday to call and complain. And request a blank check sent to our address. KTHANX.

So disgusted.

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Netflix is my friend

There are a couple movies coming out that I want to see. I know I’m going to have to stick it out until they come out on DVD since Andy and I won’t be taking Zain to the theatre anytime soon and the only people we trust to leave him with live either in Eugene (which is two hours away) or in California. I didn’t get to go see movies that often when I was preggo either; the first and third trimesters were rocky, each for different reasons. I had morning sickness in the beginning, and fat ankles, an upset stomach and acid reflux in the end…all very uncomfortable and reason enough to get home and plant my ass on the couch whenever possible.

Halle hasn’t been making the best choices at picking which films she wants to showcase her “talents” in (Perfect Stranger??? Please…I’m not even going to waste my time), but I think this one will be pretty good. And Benicio’ll flip ya for real.

Cue soundbite of Halle in Monster’s Ball: “I want you to make me feel good…” Hahaha. I love re-enacting that scene: you gotta groan it out just right, make sure you sound like you’re taking a dump. And keep repeating it. You’ll be in tears, trust me.

This one has a couple of things going for it. Justin Theroux (LOVE) is directing, Billy Crudup is acting. Seen Waking the Dead? Do. DO. Both he and Jennifer Connelly are stunning in it. And it’s based on the novel of the same name by Scott Spencer who is really good at writing about love lost, pining, obsession, all that good stuff that makes you ache. It’s one of those movies that does justice to the book. Anyway, Mandy Moore is an interesting choice, but I like her and being on Scrubs never hurt anyone either. Except Tara Reid. I still think she’s pretty heinous.

My top three on my Netflix queue: Puccini for Beginners, The Devil Wears Prada, and the Pursuit of Happyness. I’ll let you know what I think.

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Welcome to our world Zain!

Saturday was Zain’s welcome shower. It was great to spend the day (weekend, actually) with my family and friends eating good food, cracking jokes, playing MASH and Wii, and watching everyone fawn all over our little Zephyr. We feasted on barbecued ribs, chicken and fish and numerous salads (fruit, potato, green); all courtesy of my family and their talent in the kitchen (which I lack). Cupcakes came later, but alas, Zain had only my breastmilk to feast on.

Here are some pics shot before, during and after our little party.

The Clemons girls and our amazingly gorgeous sons.

Oldest to youngest.

Everyone thinks Andy looks just like his dad, but give him and his mom the same hairdo and you can see the resemblance.

Dad in the kitchen. His ribs were a huge hit.

My brother Carlton and my son…probably the most adorable picture ever. My brother will be a dad in 5 months; I’m betting it’s a girl.

Auntie Annie and Anastasia, I had to retake this shot a couple of times because Ana loves to a)close her eyes b)smirk/open mouth/gawk and c)give only a profile shot of her face. We both try too hard to take a good photo.

Posing like we’re at the prom: Toby, Jessica, Andy, me, Z, Meg and Andy

On 23rd with my family after eating gelato.

Don’t go chasing waterfalls, please stick to the rivers and the lakes that you’re used to…

We have fun.

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