Category Archives: TV

Thursday’s Child

SAM_0502

SAM_0500Dizzie’s dress, Bonjour Biqui skirt, vintage doctor bag, Pink Studio sandals

I could’ve sworn today was Wednesday. *Blink*

I’m all turned around from our California trip. We spent two weeks there driving to and fro seeing family (some of them for the first time in five years!) and I completely lost track of time. Which reminds me, I need to do a Cali post soon.

When I got back I completely inhaled Orange is the New Black.

SO. GOOD.

Also? I have a crush on Vicky Jeudy. She’s so beautiful and her hair is GORG!!!!

toods

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Filed under Stylefile, TV

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What I’ve been wearing lately:

Tulle jacket, FM shirt, Fossil skirt, Me Too flats and a pair of dead eyes

Target cardigan, Anthro shirt and dress, HUE tights, Sock Dreams socks, Frye boots, French doctor bag (Etsy) and a bandaid

Anthro tank (Buffalo Exchange), UO jeans, Fossil pumps

Close up of the shoooooooes.

Besides dressing myself I’ve also been doing a lot of reading and catching up on my favorite shows (New Girl, Parks and Rec, Up All Night). I’ve been watching Scandal and enjoying it because I ignore the dialogue and focus on this:

That’ll do, pig. That’ll do.

Tony Goldwyn is my JAM (Which …stands for Jen’s Actor Man). *shifty eyes* Yep. Back in the day my family would watch Dirty Dancing on repeat because my mom had an obsession with Patrick Swayze. Naturally we also watched Ghost too many times to count. I remember watching and thinking Um, Patrick WHO? I remember thinking that if I was Molly? I’d forgive Carl in a second. So what if he was indirectly responsible for Sam’s death? Cut the guy some slack. We ALL make mistakes.

Carl: It was a goof.

Molly: Shhhh. You had me at “it”.

Remember his psychiatrist character from Dexter who likes to let his “wolf” out for a big meal every now and again?! Chilling. And this is the part when I say “when he’s bad he’s EVEN BETTER!” but I’d be lying. I like when he plays nice. It makes me feel less guilty about taking his side.

Anyway. Scandal. I wrote a post four years ago about how Shonda’s signature style really grates on my nerves and I swear, it still rings true today. The repetition is NO JOKE.

Somebody must’ve pissed her off by saying “But above all things, show, don’t tell” And she was like, “I’ll show them. I mean I’ll TELL them. I’ll tell them a thing or two.” AND SHE NEVER STOPPED WITH THE WORDS.

“You’re/I’m the leader of the free world!”

“She’s/I’m Olivia Pope!”

“I’m/You’re a gladiator in a suit!”

At no time does anyone ever ask the president if he’s the leader of the free world because they already know the answer! And yet…AND YET. People keep repeating it until finally you shout at the television screen: I GET IT! Dude’s got power.

That’s a powerful dude.

At no point does anyone ever have to ask Olivia Pope, “And you are…?” Because, duh. Did you not hear the man on that roof over there shouting it to the heavens? She’s Olivia Pope, moron. Let us remind you another million times. She also wears a white hat, whatever the hell that means.

Olivia Pope, wearing a white hat.

And at no point does Russell Crowe show up in a suit*.

Russell Crowe, in a suit.

But. She had me at “black female lead” so I will watch all of the things (To be fair, she also had me at Kerry Washington, Tony Goldwyn, Columbus Short, and Guillermo Diaz).

Toods,

Jen

*Get it? Because he played a gladiator in a movie? It was a movie called Gladiator.

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Filed under Rant, Stylefile, TV

36 weeks

Zain, pushing my stomach HARD: “It looks like a ball! A ball is in your tummy.”

It’s true:

It turns out I’m measuring larger than I should? At my last appointment I measured 41 weeks. I was 35 at the time. The same thing happened with my pregnancy with Z (too much fluid, etc) so I was monitored closely, as I am now. I went into labor at 37 weeks.  They’re saying that the baby is also measuring large, although I really doubt it. I’m trying not to worry too much though. I’ll be glad when I have a baby in my arms at the end of all of this.

So. Nesting. Today is Labor Day and although I haven’t gone into labor, I do need someone to wipe the sweat from my brow. I’ve been moving furniture around, for some reason (small stuff, no biggie). You’d think we were expecting guests or something. Heh.

So the crib is set up and the dressing room (the room with all the dressers, naturally) is in the process of being de-clutterized, and the boys’ closet has been organized (I made Andy do that one). Also, I bought new drapes! That actually, you know…match our new (ish) rug. The sense of satisfaction that I get from this small accomplishment is truly a wonderful feeling.

Oh and hey: I totally forgot Dexter S5 is out on DVD.

THIS IS NOW NUMBER ONE ON MY NETFLIX QUEUE. Sorry, The Good Wife!

I only hope that Julia Stiles doesn’t break out into a jig at any point. The killing I can deal with but her dead-eyed pirouette is torture.

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Filed under Preggers in PDX, TV

True Blood Season 2


NELSAN. ELLIS.

This. man. One of  the few reasons that I continue to watch True Blood. So effing hilarious. COERCE. Another? I’m kind of embarrassed to say: Sookie and Eric’s eventual hook-up. I’m a sucker (NO PUN  INTENDED! LOLLERSKATES) for emotionally unavailable guys finding themselves on the battlefield that is love. Just can’t get enough. Oh, he says he doesn’t care. But deep down? He totally does! He wants to be monogamous! With you! SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

Don’t look at me. Stop!

Anyway, I devoured the second season in about a week. The season started out with me thinking, “So DUMB!” and then halfway through I was taken in by the sweetness of Hoyt and Jessica, and the heart-wrenching Godric/Eric scenes (I CRIED!) and then by the last episode I was thinking, “Dude. Soooooo DUMB!” Why are people running around acting like they’re going to do stuff ? They’re so not going to do stuff! Tara, Jason, Andy, Sookie. I’m looking at YA’LL. Go sit down somewhere.

And then I ask myself, Why are you wasting your time on this subpar shit?

Oh, right.

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Filed under Truly?, TV

Californication is worse than I remembered

I recently saw the movie City Island. I really enjoyed it, even if the loose ends were tied up a bit too neatly and not enough focus was spent on Ezra Miller, and too much was spent on Emily Mortimer (who I like but whose character I thought was kind of weird and random). But despite all that, it was a sweet, funny film. Ezra Miller intrigues me, so I perused his IMDB page and put the second season of Californication on my Netflix queue even though I had decided to quit after the first season because I hated it so much. It is truly a horrid show. I laughed occasionally but every. single. person. is a deplorable moron. I left Los Angeles, mkay? I have no interest in watching Hank Moody try his hardest to dodge the pussy constantly careening toward him. Everywhere he goes women are practically mounting him. 7/11s, car dealerships, hospitals. You know, where the action is.  He wants to be a good guy, but what can he do? Sleep with a 16 year old that just happens to be the daughter of his ex’s boyfriend? Accidentally give a girl head (it was dark, and he was confused)? And I might be Captain Obvious for saying this but: Fox Mulder > Hank Moody times 1000. So I skipped around, and watched a few Ezra scenes and my opinion hasn’t changed. HORRID. I read the wiki season recap and my suspicions were confirmed. There is no need for me to continue. It is still the worst.

There’s this scene where Hank’s daughter, Becca, is explaining her religion (every kid rebels at some point, but this kid? She worships Satan. ZOMG what a badass!) to a self-help guru and basically rips him a new asshole in the process. Like: “Listen to these facts about my religion, now listen to these facts about your book, THAT’S RIGHT I’VE READ IT OOOH DIDN’T KNOW KIDS COULD READ, DIDJA? Anywho, you’re a dummy and I’m a genius.” Something like that, I might be paraphrasing. Anyway, everyone at the table laughs and almost all of them give her a slow clap (after saying the words “that deserves a slow clap.”). Really?! It totally reminded me of Shane Botwin’s scenes on Weeds (also a show I cannot stand. First season was good though.) where he shows a grownup a thing or two about life, usually in front of his entire class. It totally irritated me. Enough with the enlightened youth who read a book and calls it life lessons! Completely laughable. AND I’ve been seeing a startling amount of asshole teenagers badmouthing (okay, asshole) adults/parents on television and maybe it’s the fact that I’m officially an adult now, and maybe it’s a cultural thing, but what the fuck? Not cool. Is it supposed to be “real life” or something? Get all these assholes off my TV!

Also something that there is too much of: the black baby gag. Nip/Tuck, Desperate Housewives, Californication. *waves to Me, Myself and Irene* Hey there. I’m sure there are more. Lady gets pregnant, drama ensues, then Lady (oh, did I mention she wasn’t black?) pops out a black baby and everyone’s jaw drops. Maury trots out and points to McWhitey and tells him he is not the father. It could be the ultimate cuckold, or the best moment of your life (Yes! No way I’m going to raise your black baby!) but whatever slant you give it, it’s just TIRED.

And I’m spent.

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Filed under Movies, Truly?, TV

Vampires kind of suck

New Moon.

So many things bother me about the trailer for New Moon. KRISTEN STEWART being the main thing. Blinkety blink blink. BLINK. Not feeling the love. And why is her mouth always open? Didn’t anyone ever tell her that a closed mouth catches no flies? No? What I don’t get is that her mouth is closed like a steel trap while “passionately” kissing Edward/Robert (this is also true in Twilight)?! I’m so confused. Ya’ll are supposed to be really into each other right? Like star crossed lovers? You open your mouth when he kisses you young lady!

So I’ve watched Twilight, and while I think the movie is pretty overwhelmingly bad I can’t help but love Robert Pattinson. I feel bad for him, in a way, having to do so many things that are so completely laughable with a straight face-that must be hard! But then he’s probably laughing all the way to the bank, so there’s that.

And then there’s True Blood (Andy and I finished the first season a couple of weeks ago). Don’t get me wrong: the show is right entertaining.  But REALLY?? Sookie Stackhouse can’t beat the men off of her fast enough?  Anna PaquinUm, no. Anna Paquin is cute, okay?  But she makes me laugh with her unnecessary intense facial expressions (complete with labored breathing, deep swallows, and if we’re really lucky: a curled lip!) and stilted walk. Not sexy. I especially love how Sookie’s BBFF Tara (Rutina Wesley) has to desperately grab at her sloppy seconds to even get some(!).

My main issue with Paquin is that she can’t really act to save her life (I don’t care that she won an Oscar… when she was ELEVEN).  I mostly kept watching because of Lafayette and Tara, who kept me laughing even when the storyline made me want to scream (Arlene and Terry aren’t so bad either). Andy has already said all of the following before – but there was little to no continuity. Sookie reads minds! Except for now, when it would really come in handy. Right!  That makes total sense. And vampire blood affects everyone differently: Jason drinks a vial and has to have blood drained from his penis, while Sookie drinks that much or more and is just peachy. Kay. I do love that theme song though… I wanna do bad things to you. Hopefully the second season is better.

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Filed under Rant, TV

TRULY?

When I started watching the first episode of the second half of the new season I knew something was up. It was simply, too good to be true. There was Dualla! On the screen! Speaking words! I thought someone had actually listened to me. But then she blew her brains out. So. I’m pretty sure that means no more Dualla?? Yeeeeah.  And although it was shocking, it kind of wasn’t. Of course she would die. At her own hand, no less (EXCLAMATION POINT). And of course all of the annoying assholes would live another day. President Roslin? I’m looking at you. You too Gaius. Let’s just get this season over with, shall we? TEDIOUS.

This? Not a good movie. Looking at this poster you’d think Angelina was the main character or something seeing as she’s about 3 times the size of James McAvoy. No, she’s just what brought the boys to the yard. And I…am…confused. Like Andy said, she looks like a Lollipop girl with that big ole head stuck on her negative pound frame. Not sexy. NO.

I had a huge issue with the storyline even though I’ve never read the comic. It was, as I said when the credits started rolling, “kinda lame”.  Who decided this garbage was fit for human consumption? Why are assassins running textile mills? Oh, there’s names hidden in the weaving? Names of people who need killing? That’s…stupid. Then there’s the usual wimp/loser/ball-less wonder becomes major super badass montage. And although it’s completely unnecessary, a kiss between Angelina and James. *yawn*

It’s snowing here. Again. I am…enraged.

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Filed under Movies, Opinion, Rant, Truly?, TV