Category Archives: Life

My body is a Wonderland

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Meet November and August! They were born in October.

Here is their birth story.

Two and a half weeks ago I fell down the rabbit hole the stairs. I don’t know how it happened. I was feeling out of sorts the whole day and I went to bed early, my head all muddled. Andy thought it was odd. I just thought that I was tired and pregnant. I got up to make the long trek to the bathroom a while later and on the second to last step downstairs, I twisted my ankle and fell, landing on my side. I think I screamed, and Andy definitely yelled as he ran down the stairs after me. When he asked me if I was okay all I could think was, “How did I get here?” He helped me up to a sitting position and I felt a warm gush. I sat there in a pool of my own tears, hoping it wasn’t blood. My waters had never broken before.

All I could say was: “Oh my god.” and “I’m not ready!” and “I hope the babies are okay!”

Andy kept reassuring me that they were, and that he was more concerned about my ankle than any thing else. I couldn’t care less about my ankle (which was fine), I was about to give birth to TWO BABIES OMG. I was so full of adrenaline that I just sat there, teeth chattering, while I tried to figure out if I wanted to stand up. And then, after Andy helped me up, I stood there, teeth chattering, wondering if I should maybe start moving. It was weird, going into labor at night. I’d always been woken up early in the morning. “Should we call your doctor?” Andy asked. “What should we do?” It was a lot to decide. Going to the hospital seemed like the next logical step. Andy went to go wake up the boys, we’d put them to bed an hour or so before. He also called our friends Andy and Meg; Meg was to meet us at the hospital.

She walked me in as Andy went to find parking. “Did you cut your hair?” I asked her as the people at the front desk helped me into a wheelchair. They laughed because priorities and wheeled me to a tiny room because triage. Some faceless person asked me if I was sure if my water had *actually* broken. The puddle I left in the wheelchair answered their question.

40 minutes after we arrived at the hospital, I was pushing out a baby. But before that happened my kids and husband showed up to the tiny room and I moaned awhile. My kids asked, now fully awake: “Why is she making noises like that?” Meg talked to them about their moaning mama and what it all meant while I continued moaning.

“The last time she got like this, it didn’t take long,” Andy said as he pushed my back with all of his strength. No one took him seriously. THEY WOULD SOON LEARN. The plan was a caesarian, but they took too fucking long. Right before they wheeled my bed out of the room I said, “I feel like I have to poop.” A resounding UH OH. They wheeled me faster while I yelled, “I’m pushing!” Some faceless individuals threw some stuff at Andy to put on while we raced down a hallway. I couldn’t stop pushing. “Don’t push!” They told me. Not pushing was not an option. I couldn’t NOT push. I was pushing.

“Help!” I cried. “I’m pushing!”

“Don’t push!”

I was pushing. 40 minutes after we arrived at the hospital, I was pushing out a baby. I was shocked when Nova crowned, because I didn’t actually expect to give birth so quickly.

“Head!” I yelled. “HEAD!”

A couple of faceless chatting nurses rushed over to my spread legs and grabbed the baby shooting out from between them. Told ya, I thought smugly. And then maybe, c-section my ass. I barely got to whisper hello to Nova before they took him away (I didn’t see him again for a day and a half. It makes me want to cry thinking about it).

“I guess we’re doing this vaginally,” said my doctor who was not my doctor. I almost did a fist pump. She and a faceless person pushed down on my stomach for a bit to try to turn Gus, but it didn’t take. He was still coming out feet first, and I was feeling like I just HAD to push again. Since he was so much bigger than Nova they were afraid he’d get stuck, so emergency c-section it was. She told me that I would have to be put under and that Andy would have to leave the room. Both of our faces fell.  But I kept pushing and yelling, “Help!” until I blacked out.

When I woke up what felt like 2 seconds later, Andy was there to welcome me.  “Are they gonna do it?” I asked in a scratchy voice. Andy said, “They already did it.” and I said, “Oh right, that makes sense.”

Meg had taken the boys to her house to sleep and so it was me and Andy and Gus. Gus had been born 20 minutes after Nova, but after midnight so they had different birthdays (and maybe even different signs)! “That’s so cool!” one of the faceless nurses was saying. I couldn’t help but laugh but I sobered up quickly, when I was told that Andy and I couldn’t visit Nova in the NICU (low birth weight) since we both had nasty colds that wouldn’t quit. It was horrible to be separated from him. One of the nurses from the NICU was a sweetheart and brought Andy and I pictures of him so that we could see how he was doing.

With my last two deliveries I was able to leave the hospital rather promptly, and that wasn’t going to happen this time around. I hated being in the hospital, hated being separated from my kids and husband, hated eating hospital food, hated having my blood pressure taken every five seconds (it was worryingly high), but luckily I didn’t have to worry too much about my c-section incision. I was moving around pretty well after a couple of days to everyone’s surprise, including my own.  Some of the nurses winced sympathetically for me when they heard that I’d had both a vaginal birth and a caesarian, but I’m glad my original birth plan wasn’t a total wash. I got to deliver one of them naturally, and that makes me happy.

When Nova was finally transferred to my room I was overjoyed.

IMG_2430One of the nurses asked me, “How can you tell them apart?” And I just stared at her. They look like brothers, but they don’t look identical to me. Which is kind of a relief because now I don’t have to worry about mixing them up.

You know what? Let’s just fast forward to us all being home. Here we are, courtesy of my MIL who, along with Andy’s stepdad, just left after a week here:

105_0517RIO IS KILLING ME IN THIS PICTURE!!! Ahem.

The twins are here. THEY’RE FINALLY HERE. I’m so happy to be home and so grateful to all of our wonderful friends and family who have watched our kids and made us delicious food. And speaking of food…I’m off to eat some more while the babes are still sleeping.

 

toods

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Filed under Baby, Family, KIDS., Life, Love, Twins

Woman of Steel

 

SAM_1855Thrifted Bailey 44 column dress, Pink Studio mary janes

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SAM_1857TWENTY NINE WEEKS, U GUISE. This is when I tell you how nervous I am about going into labor even though I’ve done it three times. Because I’ve never done a two-fer. HOW DOES THIS WORK. (Don’t answer that)

So this is not a maternity dress, no duh doy. I’d first seen many versions of this column dress pop up on style blogs that I frequented like, yeeeears ago, and I loved the look of them but the price not so much. When I came across it on Anthromollogies, where it was worn during pregnancy, I thought, “How cute!”

Well, I found the EXACT same version at Value Village the other day (HELLSYEAH). It’s pilling a bit but still looks to be in pretty good condition and it stretches quite nicely over my engorged belleh! I would never have attempted to wear this dress during pregnancy if not for Anthromollogies, and I know it’ll translate quite nicely when I slim down after squeezing these kiddos out. HUZZAH!

Here’s another number:

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He loves me so much he trimmed his beard for me.

ELEVEN YEARS U GUISE.

DO YOU KNOW WHAT TODAY IS? It’s our anniversary. Anniversary. It’s our anniversaaaaaaryyyyyy.

Wow. I’ve been married to this red bearded dude for a really long time. I love him even though he mentioned a SIXTH kid while I have two inside of me right now.

To celebrate we went and saw How to Train Your Dragon 2 with the boys while eating pizza and burgers and hot dogs.  We also got choked up because pregnancy hormones, u guise. >.> Tonight, there will be ice cream.

Also, Mad’s a kindergartener now! It’s kind of weird having two kids in school.

IMG_2112He’s adjusting really well. I’m glad but also sad because well…my baby. He’s growing up!

*sniffle*

Anyway, here’s some more pictures from this pregnancy:

IMG_2078Rio being adorable, geez.

SAM_1795 IMG_8382Taken three years apart at the Oregon Aquarium. I like to go when I’m heavily pregnant, apparently.

SAM_1805An outfit from last week.

toods

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Filed under Life, Love, Preggers in PDX, Preggerville, Stylefile, Thrift/Vintage

Double the fun

 

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SAM_157717 weeks preggo: Fossil (Ebay) top,  Levi’s jeans, Miz Mooz flats

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SAM_158218 weeks preggo: Thrifted top, UO jeans, Tretorn rain boots

It’s been a long time. Shouldn’t have left you. Without a dope post to…read… to. >.>

Funny story: Andy and I had been going back and forth about having another kid. On days where the boys were particularly hard to handle I was like “Nope!” but then when I noticed that Rio’s baby fat was disappearing I was like “MOAR PLZ!” Andy mostly wanted to try for a girl. We both knew that there was a .5% chance of that happening, but we forged ahead with that good old Shettles method. TMI? Eh, we’re all adults here. ANYWAY. Six months later I was 3 days late and took a pregnancy test. The faintest of lines appeared. Andy pumped his fist, I got ready for the nausea to hit. AND BOY DID IT. “This…isn’t normal.” I told Andy. My stomach hurt like the DICKENS. My mind was foggy. There was this funny taste in my mouth. For three weeks I only got up to use the restroom and to (barely) eat. I felt like I was dying. Food was disgusting. And it wasn’t just food, everything I looked at or thought about took on this sinister tone. I started thinking about preparing a will (which I really should do anyway). Then I started bleeding. It was the cherry on the shit sundae that was my life.

I went in for an ultrasound to see if I was miscarrying. There on the screen, clear as day, were two embryos.  Aaaand I friggin’ burst into tears. When I told Andy (he was parking the car and ushering the boys into the office at the time of the u/s) he was shocked stupid. “Uh, what? Huh? HOW? Oh my god!”

How, indeed. My mom had twin brothers (fraternal) and apparently her father had twin siblings as well. Andy and I had joked about one day having twins and then we got tired just thinking about it. Whatever, bring it. Cuz twins are magical! I totally dropped two eggs and Andy totally fertilized them both! We’re magical creatures people!

Anyway, it all balanced out to the usual bearable nausea that I dealt with with my other pregnancies, and my bleeding (Caused by a subchorionic hemorrhage) stopped relatively soon afterwards. *sigh of relief*

I will never not find it funny that we went into this trying for one girl and will come out of it with two more boys. TWO! MORE! BOYS!

And I can’t wait to meet them.

toods

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Filed under Family, Life, Preggers in PDX, Preggerville, Shit just got real, Stylefile, Thrift/Vintage

Three things

1. My Rio is TWO years old.

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There are no more babies in my house. *sniffle*

2. Mad and I had some fun on the porch the other day.

Check it:

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He’s wearing a thrifted plaid shirt (Deseret Industries) and jeans. I can’t remember if they’re Cherokee or Levi’s. On his feet are his well worn DC sneakers. On his head are gorgeous brown curls.

3. I can’t stop listening to this song:

toods

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Filed under Family, KIDS., Life, Mad Miles, Rio

Read by Mama

Whenever I read a book to the boys I do it a-la Reading Rainbow. I tell them who wrote it, who illustrated it, and lastly: “Read…”

And the boys all answer: “By Mama!”

So when I got up this morning there was a card for me with the words “Read by Mama” written on it (Andy rocks).

LOVE.

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I’m so lucky.

Also, could Mad’s expressions be any more hilarious?!

I hope everyone had a wonderful weekend and to all the mothers out there: Happy Mother’s Day!

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Filed under KIDS., Life, Love, Stylefile

Saints Be Praised

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Whoops, no green here. Too bad I don’t have the green version of this dress:

Today we went to Powells so that Andy could sell some books and buy some new ones and the boys could waffle over which corny Thomas book they would choose. I got nothing since I have an itchy Amazon trigger finger and have far too many ebooks and library books that need to be read.

And in about…8 minutes Andy and I are having a North and South viewing party with some friends and I am EXCITED!

Because DUDES.

That’ll do, pig. That’ll do.

toods

 

 

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Filed under Life, Stylefile

I’ll BCing you

One of the things I like most about vacations is coming home. There’s something about seeing our little house with its white picket fence after some time away that makes me feel content. Inside the boys have their own beds, and I have mine and nevermind all that, there’s a stable fucking internet connection. But I loved our short time in Burnaby/Vancouver and Parksville/Victoria (speaking of Victoria, HOMGLOVE). Andy and I had been to Vancouver 7 years earlier as a newly married child-less couple and of course this time around it was all about low key fun – animals and water and sometimes both at the same time.  I met a man at a gas station who wrote 4 places on the back of my receipt that the family and I simply must visit while in Vancouver.  One of the first things that he said was: “You look like the girls from my country.”

I replied “Are you from Eritrea?”
He shook his head. “No.”
“Ah. Ethiopia?”
He smiled. “Yes!”
I smiled back. “I get that all the time.”

The four places that he wrote were: Capilano, Cypress, Shannon Falls, Whistler.

“Do these in order,” he said. “And if you go to these places, you know you’ve really seen Vancouver.”

I walked back out to the car and told Andy: “Apparently we haven’t seen the real Vancouver. Let’s do this.”

I Googled them back in our hotel room in Burnaby.

Capilano Suspension Bridge.

Every mother’s dream: to walk with her three young kids across a rickety bridge where you can probably touch the tops of VERY TALL TREES.

True story: if you Google Capilano Suspension Bridge death and baby dropped automatically comes up. If you’re wondering, and you probably are, the baby survived the 230 FOOT DROP BUT NO THANKS BC I GOT THIS.

Cypress and Whistler appeared to be ski resorts (also Nope) and Shannon Falls sounded okay, but we see plenty of waterfalls in PDX so it wasn’t a Shannon Falls OR BUST situation.

We went to the aquarium.

Beluga!

We went to a farm.

There were animals there, trust me.

I never have learned how to pack appropriately for a trip. We spent a week in BC and I probably packed enough for a month. Mostly I didn’t want to trust the promise of sunny weather, so I made sure to pack sweaters and even a pair of tights! To save some room though I packed all flats, which made sense since we’d be doing a lot of walking. Whoops. Apparently my flats are a helluva lot more uncomfortable than my heels? What kind of sorcery is this?! Completely baffled as to why I’m hobbling around in Born flats that are lined with a puffy, cloud like substance and yet feel more like they’re stuffed with rocks. True story: if you Google Born shoes, comfort automatically comes up. LIES! DECEIT!

Notice how my shoes are kicked off? Because those bitches HURT.

On the ferry ride to Vancouver Island, I decided to take a break from being River’s bed and stretch my legs.

“If you go out on the balcony, watch out.” Andy said. “It’s really windy.”

“Sure.” I said, non-nonplussed. I’d encountered wind before, who did he think he was talking to? So, I open the door to the outside world and

HOLYSHITWHEREDIDMYSKIRTGOOHMYGODTHOSEAREMYBLOOMERS

WHOOPSTHEREARETWOOLDWOMENWHOCANSEEMYJUNK

WHYCANINOTHOLDDOWNMYSKIRTITHINKINEEDTWOMOREHANDS

BUTIHAVETOOPENTHEDOORANDCONTINUETOEXPOSEMYSELFHOLYSHIT.

Well, that was awkward. Picture me dusting my hands off and walking away, head swiveling wildly. Some guy was standing just inside the door. I made eye contact and grinned maniacally. He brushed past me.

7 years ago in Vancouver, we ate at a cute 50s diner.

Mmmm, poutine. Gravy, cheese curds, smoked ham and fries. Naturally.

Four days ago in Naiamo, we ate at a cute 50s diner.

Eggs, sausage and toast. The sausage wasn’t as firm as I’d have liked. C’est la vie.

I decided to go outside and feed Rio while Andy paid the tab. I had my hooter hider with me and I sat on a bench in the warm sunshine and got to it. Fifteen minutes go by. A woman walks up to me and says, “Your child is beautiful.”
I looked down in alarm. Was I exposing myself yet again? But no. I guess she found his chubby leg striking. “Oh, you can see him under there?” I asked unnecessarily.
“Well, I can tell you’re a good mom.” she told me.
I didn’t know what to say to that so I said,”Sure,” smiling. Because, let’s face it. I AM a good mom.
“Three gold medals! I just thank the Lord.”

What the

“Hmmm?”
“Bolt. That man. Jamaica. So fast! I just thank the Lord.”
“…yeah.”
“He had nothing. And he just fought for his people. Bolt.”
Do you think I’m Jamaican? I thought. I’m so not.

So I just said as little as possible and nodded my head, relieved when she got up to leave because I really had nothing to contribute. She complimented Rio again, and as I looked down to double check that my hooters were indeed hidden, Rio pushed the fabric aside to say hello. “Such beautiful hair…” she murmured as she left.

Fantastic.

We went to the beach.

Mad is shivering, but I swear the water was nice and toasty.

And so was the sand. Nice and toe-sty.

And finally, Victoria.

Je t’aime.

True story: if you say “Leh Hotel” under your breath some guy will rush over and say, “The H is silent. Lo-tel. Hear the difference?”

We ate bagels and ice cream.

We took the boys to a bug museum where I grabbed Andy’s arm repeatedly because gross:

We all climbed into a telephone booth:

We sailed back to the states:

So long BC!

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Filed under Adventures, Fun and Games, Good times, KIDS., Life, Unhappy Feet