The Worst

I am so angry at this trailer right now.

So this girl falls in love with this guy but not for superficial reasons, the reasons are super deep and multi-layered. See, he’s a lacrosse player. *crickets* Oh, did she mention lacrosse is a Native American sport. *more crickets, maybe an eagle soaring overhead* What’s happening. Oh, Iraq. Now his father’s dead. Now he’s doing bad things with that crosse. Whoa what do you know, a Native American (Adam Beach, natch) is taking Klutz to the “6 nations workcamp” where I’m sure he’ll learn what it means to be a warrior? WHAT. IS. HAPPENING.

First of all, thank you Perez for so eloquently saying what we’re all thinking (“Twi-hards out there are going to love this!”). The only reason anyone would watch this piece of shit is because ZOMG look it’s Vamp #1 and #2 (I refuse to name their characters and let on how deep my knowledge of Twilight runs) and look there are Natives who may or may not be werewolves!!! In the TWILIGHT of their youth…THERE IS LITERALLY SMOKE COMING OUT OF MY NOSTRILS RIGHT NOW ARE YOU SERIOUS?!!!!.

Secondly, not only is there a Kellan Lutz in this movie (Klutz?! Really parents?!) but there’s also a CHORD OVERSTREET?

STOP.

Why Adam Beach?!!!

 

 

 

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2 Comments

Filed under Movies, Rant, Truly?

2 responses to “The Worst

  1. I literally passed fecal matter when I saw “in the Twilight”. I will stab a baby chicken’s face.

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