Californication is worse than I remembered

I recently saw the movie City Island. I really enjoyed it, even if the loose ends were tied up a bit too neatly and not enough focus was spent on Ezra Miller, and too much was spent on Emily Mortimer (who I like but whose character I thought was kind of weird and random). But despite all that, it was a sweet, funny film. Ezra Miller intrigues me, so I perused his IMDB page and put the second season of Californication on my Netflix queue even though I had decided to quit after the first season because I hated it so much. It is truly a horrid show. I laughed occasionally but every. single. person. is a deplorable moron. I left Los Angeles, mkay? I have no interest in watching Hank Moody try his hardest to dodge the pussy constantly careening toward him. Everywhere he goes women are practically mounting him. 7/11s, car dealerships, hospitals. You know, where the action is.  He wants to be a good guy, but what can he do? Sleep with a 16 year old that just happens to be the daughter of his ex’s boyfriend? Accidentally give a girl head (it was dark, and he was confused)? And I might be Captain Obvious for saying this but: Fox Mulder > Hank Moody times 1000. So I skipped around, and watched a few Ezra scenes and my opinion hasn’t changed. HORRID. I read the wiki season recap and my suspicions were confirmed. There is no need for me to continue. It is still the worst.

There’s this scene where Hank’s daughter, Becca, is explaining her religion (every kid rebels at some point, but this kid? She worships Satan. ZOMG what a badass!) to a self-help guru and basically rips him a new asshole in the process. Like: “Listen to these facts about my religion, now listen to these facts about your book, THAT’S RIGHT I’VE READ IT OOOH DIDN’T KNOW KIDS COULD READ, DIDJA? Anywho, you’re a dummy and I’m a genius.” Something like that, I might be paraphrasing. Anyway, everyone at the table laughs and almost all of them give her a slow clap (after saying the words “that deserves a slow clap.”). Really?! It totally reminded me of Shane Botwin’s scenes on Weeds (also a show I cannot stand. First season was good though.) where he shows a grownup a thing or two about life, usually in front of his entire class. It totally irritated me. Enough with the enlightened youth who read a book and calls it life lessons! Completely laughable. AND I’ve been seeing a startling amount of asshole teenagers badmouthing (okay, asshole) adults/parents on television and maybe it’s the fact that I’m officially an adult now, and maybe it’s a cultural thing, but what the fuck? Not cool. Is it supposed to be “real life” or something? Get all these assholes off my TV!

Also something that there is too much of: the black baby gag. Nip/Tuck, Desperate Housewives, Californication. *waves to Me, Myself and Irene* Hey there. I’m sure there are more. Lady gets pregnant, drama ensues, then Lady (oh, did I mention she wasn’t black?) pops out a black baby and everyone’s jaw drops. Maury trots out and points to McWhitey and tells him he is not the father. It could be the ultimate cuckold, or the best moment of your life (Yes! No way I’m going to raise your black baby!) but whatever slant you give it, it’s just TIRED.

And I’m spent.

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4 Comments

Filed under Movies, Truly?, TV

4 responses to “Californication is worse than I remembered

  1. I know why you are spent.

    It’s because you are tired from all that writing, isn’t it?

    Also… yeah it seems like all those hbo/showtime/channel you have to pay extra money for shows are all about people being dicks, often using their dicks or other not fit for standard tv consumption type items. I guess people pay money for that?

  2. I hate to even give anything that resembles credit to either one of those shows, but can we be Sister Dr. Obvious (and apparently British) and say Nip/Tuck did it better?

    Guess what is the most tired portrayal on earth? Women in labor. Because they are always, always retarded and redonkulous. Not. Necessary. I cursed at no one, I did not sweat buckets and if I had, my hair wouldn’t be matted to my forehead because I had the foresight to pull it back, idiots. I did not scream and yell while pushing because it was relieving. WHO. ARE. THESE. WOMEN. I hate that our culture has prepared women to think that having a baby is their moment to be the biggest tool/douchevag/brats on earth. It’s NOT. ABOUT. YOU. That’s why a new human being is the result.

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