Dear Weeds,

What the fuck is this? Is this supposed to be sexy? Awkward sexy? Like whoops…didn’t know she had it in her, did she? You’ve lost me. I tried to let all the references to her “hotness” wash over me, (meanwhile all of the black women on the show are either fat and sexless or straight up hookers!) all the while snickering into my figgy pudding.

But I’m done. Mary-Louise Parker (what is it with actresses and the double name thing?) can only use her patented wide eyed deer in headlights look so many times. The talking out of the side of her mouth is also wearing thin. She never DOES ANYTHING ELSE! She could be playing a drug addict Mormon, a young woman with AIDS, an abused housewife, whatever…Mary is Mary is Mary is fucking MARY!

Hey you! Yeah, you! You wanna be an actress and win tons of awards? Pop a couple quaaludes and you’ve suddenly got what it takes. Stumble around the set while you give a long rambling monologue…that’ll add to the realness of it! Speak as if your own words either terrify, amuse or depress you. Or just act really bored. It all works!

Oh and Weeds: you aren’t as cutting edge as you think…yeah, you try to be badass by peppering your dialogue with racist humor (cuz that’s real life!), throwing in a coupla jabs at Dubya, and of course showcasing drugs on a regular basis. But Weeds? You’re still just a show about a desperate white woman, housewife or not. Nice try, though.



Filed under Opinion, Rant, TV

4 responses to “Dear Weeds,

  1. I’m going to go with “just act really bored” for $1000 Alex.

    Who is some doe-eyed bitch?

    PS. Does are pretty damn boring too.

  2. Um, I assumed from that clip that they didn’t rape her because they felt sorry for her. Because she’s obviously smoked her brain. It’s like the scene in Nelly where Jodie Foster lifts her shirt in the podunk bar. A little piece of you dies because she doesn’t know any better.

  3. Jen

    You mean Nell? 😛 Yeah that scene was SO painful. Speaking of flashing people…I just watched Babel and someone who DOES know better flashes her cooter several times. Because communication is hard, see. Desperate times, ya know.

  4. Jenny, I think we can agree it’s far more engaging as Nelly. No, I did like that movie. But… are you insinuating that Cate Blanchett shows something? ‘Cause…that would just make baby Jesus cry. What possible reason do people have to do this?!?!?

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