That word? That’s how I’ve felt the last few weeks. I got sick a couple of days before my birthday and it’s still hanging on. LOVE! IT! And wouldn’t you know it, I gave Z whatever I had. And Andy got what I had in his EYE. So it’s been rough. Exhaustion+cold/flu/whatever this is+extreme depression=ASS. Yeah. It hasn’t been a fun last couple of weeks.
The weekend before my birthday I was feeling fine. Andy, Zain and I had dropped by Dania and bought a couch. Andy knew how much I’ve been wanting one and decided that we should splurge. Sweet boy. By that night I was feeling a tickling in the back of my throat. I spent my birthday in bed, a very VERY unbirthday to me. Sore throat, light fever, achy body, hot flashes and chills. I spent most of the day lying down and the other half trying to see if I could get in to see a doctor, any doctor. I had to call my insurance twice and recite my birth date twice and neither person said, “Oh hey. Happy birthday.” Should I care that random strangers didn’t wish me a happy birthday? Probably not. But I was pretty down, feeling weak and sorry for myself. I hated that I couldn’t get dressed up and celebrate turning 27 with my family.
Anyway, I’m feeling better, but not quite out of my blue mood just yet. I hate hearing Z cough and not be able to do anything about it. Yesterday he got his second round of shots. I was surprised at how well he did…until yesterday night when Andy and I went out to eat. We ended up getting our food to go, he was crying so loud. It unnerved me so much that I couldn’t finish my dinner when we finally got home; I went upstairs with Z and passed out. It’s the first night I’ve been to sleep before ten in a while. I should do it more often, for obvious reasons.
What else? Well, my hair keeps falling out in handfuls, making me feel like some kind of cancer patient. Good thing I decided to sport bangs recently. It keeps the front looking fuller. Man…pregnancy really does a number on you! I am literally no longer myself, and I wonder if I will ever be again. I wonder who I’ll be after 2 or 3 more?
The next post will be happier.