That word? That’s how I’ve felt the last few weeks. I got sick a couple of days before my birthday and it’s still hanging on. LOVE! IT! And wouldn’t you know it, I gave Z whatever I had. And Andy got what I had in his EYE. So it’s been rough. Exhaustion+cold/flu/whatever this is+extreme depression=ASS. Yeah. It hasn’t been a fun last couple of weeks.

The weekend before my birthday I was feeling fine. Andy, Zain and I had dropped by Dania and bought a couch. Andy knew how much I’ve been wanting one and decided that we should splurge. Sweet boy. By that night I was feeling a tickling in the back of my throat. I spent my birthday in bed, a very VERY unbirthday to me. Sore throat, light fever, achy body, hot flashes and chills. I spent most of the day lying down and the other half trying to see if I could get in to see a doctor, any doctor. I had to call my insurance twice and recite my birth date twice and neither person said, “Oh hey. Happy birthday.” Should I care that random strangers didn’t wish me a happy birthday? Probably not. But I was pretty down, feeling weak and sorry for myself. I hated that I couldn’t get dressed up and celebrate turning 27 with my family.

Anyway, I’m feeling better, but not quite out of my blue mood just yet. I hate hearing Z cough and not be able to do anything about it. Yesterday he got his second round of shots. I was surprised at how well he did…until yesterday night when Andy and I went out to eat. We ended up getting our food to go, he was crying so loud. It unnerved me so much that I couldn’t finish my dinner when we finally got home; I went upstairs with Z and passed out. It’s the first night I’ve been to sleep before ten in a while. I should do it more often, for obvious reasons.

What else? Well, my hair keeps falling out in handfuls, making me feel like some kind of cancer patient. Good thing I decided to sport bangs recently. It keeps the front looking fuller. Man…pregnancy really does a number on you! I am literally no longer myself, and I wonder if I will ever be again. I wonder who I’ll be after 2 or 3 more?

The next post will be happier.



Filed under Life

8 responses to “Pffffzzzzzzzzzzt

  1. Bethany Morrow

    Sounds like you should maybe space out the “two or three more”? On a lighter note, I lost the entire front/hairline after Ezra. It didn’t happen immediately so I was like, “um…maybe I should go for an MRI”. But yeah, about an inch back and in patches just to ensure I wouldn’t look normal for a while. It was pretty scary. Josh thinks the sides about my ears have never gotten to the normal thickness again. Can’t tell my looking at it though so who cares. I.e. I feel you.

  2. Jen

    Ah…the women of Gateway. The women of Gateway.

  3. It has indeed been a challenging few weeks…I hate it when cliches are true (“It never gets easier.” Fuck you clichemakerquoteman!). But uh, yeah, we are the champions, and love is a battlefield, and all that jazzzzzzz. Taaa daaa!

  4. Bethany Morrow

    Well… takes a village.
    This IS where we leave our overused but true cliches, no?

  5. Bethany Morrow

    Oh, but if your son’s anything like mine, it totally gets easier. Either that or you completely change…which still results in it being easier.

  6. I think we’ve already done some complete changing. I go by Royce Renaldo and I think Jen is calling herself Bernadine Peters. We really love bowling, fast food, reality tv, sitcoms, and american cars.

    Wait AHAHHAHAHAHAH that was a nightmare.

  7. Bethany Morrow


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